No Less a Man
by Heeroluva
Summary: Pike wonders if his relationship with Spock and Jim is fair to them. Pike/Spock/Jim


Title: No Less a Man  
Author: heeroluva  
Pairing: Pike/Spock/Jim  
Contains: h/c, impotence  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just like to play with them.  
Summary: Pike wonders if his relationship with Spock and Jim is fair to them.  
Notes: Thanks to xlcatloveress for the beta. This is in part due to whiteraven1606's influence. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to let me know if you see any. As always feedback is appreciated.

* * *

"Stop, stop!" Pike growled as he sat up suddenly and pushed Spock away from his over-sensitized yet limp flesh, ignoring Jim's protests as he rolled to the side. Carefully swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he buried his face in his hands as his body shook from over-stimulation with no release in sight. A hesitant hand stroked his left arm, 'Jim always so unsure' his mind supplied, and then on his other shoulder another hand, sure and cool, Spock offering steadfast support.

They didn't do more than that as long minutes passed, just sitting in silence, except for his occasional shuddering breath. Chris didn't cry. He was long past tears, knowing that they didn't accomplish anything. He didn't protest when both men moved in unison and carefully arranged him on his stomach, mindful of his still weak legs. Sighing as pairs of hands set to work on him, began the long process of loosening knotted muscles, overworked, and it was his own fault. Pike's doctors cursed him, telling him that he was going to put himself back in that damned chair permanently if he wasn't careful.

He didn't want to be told that he was fragile. He hated that word. Chris wasn't some damsel in distress or some delicate china that would break into a million pieces if he fell. While he knew the doctors were right, he couldn't stand one more minute in that chair. He couldn't help but wonder if he would have chosen the coward's way out if the doctors hadn't been able to do anything and he'd have been forever confined to that chair.

As it was, Chris wondered if things would have been different for him if Spock, once proven, always loyal Spock hadn't come back to him. He'd seen the instant attraction between the Vulcan and Jim despite their animosity, but love and hate weren't that different. Pike had given Spock an out but he'd refused, shocking Chris, when he showed up with Jim in tow on their shore leave months later, months ago now. He hadn't understood then what was happening, still wasn't sure he understood it now.

At the time he was making his first tentative steps and his world was full of pain and frustration and they held him as he cried from both, until he had none left, held him when he wanted nothing more than to self-destruct. He wondered if Jim saw himself in him, if this was payback for setting him straight. He wasn't a novice to sex. Far from it. It wasn't even his first threesome. He'd had a few of those as well. But it was the first one that mattered, and he wondered when that had happened.

It should have been weird with Jim, but it wasn't. Jim fit in with Chris and Spock as though he'd always been there, the missing piece that they hadn't really known had been absent. It didn't matter that Jim was his old best friend's son. It didn't matter that Chris was old enough to be Jim's father. He knew it should have bothered him, knew it would bother others but he couldn't bring himself to care.

The most frustrating part wasn't his weakness or his pain, but his impotence. Another word he hated. The doctors told him to be patient, that given his age and the extent of his injuries his body needed time to heal. But now, almost a year since the nightmare that had started this, he still hadn't felt any sexual interest except some slight swelling when he was stimulated. It never led to more. He refused drugs, not wanting to risk the side-effects, but most of all not wanting to admit that he was somehow less of a man.

The sudden stop of the hands that had lulled him into semi-consciousness brought him back to reality. At Spock's words he knew that he had lowered his shields.

"You are no less than you once were."

He froze, but when Jim nudged him, Pike rolled over onto his back, and scooted up against the headboard. Jim and Spock settled on either side.

It was Jim's turn to speak. "You are beautiful. And you're ours. That's all that matters."

Chris didn't trust his voice, so stayed silent not believing the words.

"Jim is correct. We will have you in any way that we can. You are still you."

Pike found his voice. "You'd be better off without this old fool."

Jim smiled into his neck and snarked, "You're our old fool. Would we keep coming back to you if we did not care?"

Chris shook his head. "You'd be better off without me, with someone that's whole. This isn't fair to you. You both deserve more than a broken old man."

Jim leered. "We like you just the way you are." Then sobering, he continued, "Life's not fair. And you're not broken." Jim smiled crookedly. "Just a little cracked. If you think we're only after you for your body, you haven't been paying enough attention."

Pike raised his eyebrow, wondering what he was getting at.

But it was Spock that was again the voice of reason. "Without you, would we not still worry? Would we forget that you are alone here? Would the separation be any less painful if we were not together? Would we be anymore whole without you? Would we forget our love for you?"

Pike slowly turned his head to meet Spock's steady stare, his ears ringing, not sure if he had heard correctly. None of them had ever voiced their feelings before, so having it thrown out there so casually was like an unexpected blow. He turned his head towards Jim, who just smiled softly and nodded his agreement. Now that was unexpected.

"What if I never—"

Jim interrupted him with a kiss that left him breathless. "It doesn't matter. Sex isn't everything." He grinned widely as he mock-whispered, "Don't quote me on that though. It would ruin my reputation."

At his conspiratorial wink, Chris couldn't help but laugh in amazement. The kid never ceased to surprise him. He wasn't sure he agreed, but if they were happy with the situation, he would try to accept that. When Spock eased him down and pulled him close and Jim pressed up against his back, he wasn't sure that he minded them trying to convince him. He might even admit that he looked forward to it a bit. As he slipped into sleep, he wondered what he'd done to deserve such loyalty and patience and if he'd dreamt Spock's laughter.


End file.
